On Thursday May 19th, we all headed to the hospital for an 8:00pm check in. I originally was hesitant to be induced when my doctor first mentioned it months ago but after I did some research and talked to a lot of different people who had been induced, prayed about it and brought up all my concerns with my doctor, I felt confident that getting induced was the right decision this time. Then when my doctor asked what date, I felt an immense amount of peace about Friday May 20. I knew that this was going to be baby girl's birthday.
When I went to my doctor's appointment on Wednesday May 18th, my doctor said it might be more difficult to get in on Friday morning since this is considered an elective induction. She asked what I thought about going in on Thursday night at 8:00, doing low dose pitocin over night, then breaking my water in the morning and having the baby. My mom was flying in Thursday night to watch the kids so I felt like this plan would work and figured it was better then the possibility of not being able to get into the hospital at all for induction on Friday depending on staffing and room availability. I also knew that even if I didn't get any sleep since I was laboring through the night, that I could sleep as much as I wanted afterwards without a baby to take care of :)
I got a call Thursday afternoon that we were a go for induction at the hospital with an 8:00pm check in time. Ali and McKay met us at the hospital. And although McKay couldn't go in, Ali was able to be there with Bryce and I at check in since I was allowed 2 visitors. Despite all my worries I had had in previous months and weeks and days about delivering this sweet girl (read way too many birth stories where things went south), I felt so peaceful and calm when arriving and knew everything would be fine.
We met our nurse Carlie who was fantastic. They had reserved two rooms--one for me and one for the Walkers right next door to each other which I thought was so great of them. They went over ALL this info and eventually got me hooked up to an IV to start pitocin. They started on the smallest dose at like 9:45pm then went up a couple doses? after 30 minutes each. When they hooked me up to the monitor I was already having contractions--just not super regular or intense.
Ali hung out for a bit then went to her hotel to sleep so that Bryce and I could sleep. She absolutely would have stayed if I wanted her to but I felt I could relax and sleep better without her there which she also thought---plus I wanted her to get some sleep since she'd be the one taking care of a newborn.
Before starting pitocin they didn't check me because the day before in the afternoon I was 1cm so they just assumed I hadn't changed (I have never in all 4 pregnancies, been dilated past 1cm before going into active labor, but once I start I can progress quickly).
Throughout the night my contractions got more intense where pretty much from 1:00 am on I got very little sleep trying to sleep between contractions. Despite that though, the night went by quickly! At 4:00am I was humming through contractions, so I told the nurse thinking she would check me. I asked again about getting the antibiotic for being group b positive. I had heard that you needed it about 4 hours before delivery and since I've had a 3 hour labor in the past I figured sooner was better than later. But the nurse said that she didn't want me to have too many antibiotics--like I guess if you labor too long they have to give you more doses? I thought maybe I didn't need it for 4 hours then and didn't really push it. She gave me a dose of fentanyl which took the edge off the contractions for about an hour and I was able to sleep on and off til about 5:00am.
I was starting to feel lots of pressure with my contractions so I figured baby was dropping a bit so I finally asked at 6:00am if the nurse could check me. She said she'd call my doctor—this was really weird to me, with my previous births I felt like the nurses checked me every hour to see how I was progressing but this was the first time they had checked me and since starting pitocin at 10:00pm—-it had been 8 hours already! (My previous births were 14 hours, 6 hours, 3 hours and 7 hours so 8 hours seemed like a long time to be in labor! But I expected that with being induced and just doing a low dose of pitocin). She finally checked me and I was about 5-6cm. She said the doctor would be here between 6:00am and 8:00am to break my water. I was feeling like I didn't want to be any kind of hero and after laboring through the night for 8 hours decided to get the epidural before my doctor arrived to break my water. The contractions were still getting increasingly more painful and I wanted to be calm and pain free when she broke my water.
At 6:30am I got the epidural and about a half hour later I was feeling fabulous. I could still move my legs freely and felt every contraction without the pain. The nurses changed shifts at 7:00am--I was there when the night nurse Carlie was telling the day time nurse Susan all the details of what had transpired so far. When she told her that I was Group B positive and that she hadn't given me the antibiotic, Susan said " We need to get that in her now". By the time she got the antibiotic going in my IV it was 7:30am, the same time my doctor arrived. My doctor was there to break my water and anticipated that once she broke my water baby girl would be born really soon. But once she found out that I had just received the antibiotic there was no way they could break my water because I needed a second dose of the antibiotic at 11:30 and if they broke my water I probably would have the baby within the hour. I didn't realize I would need 2 doses 4 hours apart. I loved my nurse Carlie but really felt she like dropped the ball on this one. I don't know why she didn't give me the antibiotic despite me asking—I assume that she didn't think I would progress as much as I did. I was really glad I got the epidural because there is absolutely no way I could've labored 4 hours longer than I needed to if I didn't have that.
I was a little discouraged because when I was feeling my best (and still looked good haha!) would have been a great time to break my water and have the baby. But next was just a waiting game.
I tried to sleep to pass the time but just felt an immense amount of pressure in my bum. I was so worried that I had progressed to a 10 and that baby girl was coming haha! It's hard to tell when you're pretty numb down there. Plus I've progressed pretty fast in the past going from a 6 to 10 in less than an hour multiple times. It was 8:30 and I panicked with all the pressure I was feeling that I texted Ali to see if they were close. I was so worried I'd push the baby out and they wouldn't be there! Which was a ridiculous thought but I literally felt like baby girl was coming. I told the nurse and she checked me and said baby had dropped but I was still only a 7. I told Ali false alarm but to ease my anxiety about them missing the birth, Ali and McKay went into the hospital and hung out in the room next door! This was like the perfect spot for me so that I could know that they were close but they didn't have to be right in the room.
The next 3 hours were rough--I just felt so much pressure, I think baby girl was like "I'm ready to come out, why can't I come out?" I tried to sleep but just couldn't with all the pressure. I really wanted to make it to 11:30 to get my second dose of antibiotic but was worried my body couldn't last that long.
Then around 9:30 or 10:00 I felt an incredible amount of pain on my right side--my hip, back, uterus—everything hurt so bad. I had been laying on my left, so I knew that laying on my right would help the epidural come to that side but I just could not feel any relief and laying on that side made it hurt that much more. I think baby girl was in a weird position. I've had a baby unmedicated before but this pain was more significant because it wasn't with contractions--it was constant pain. Also, since half of my body had the epidural working I wasn't able to just get in any position I wanted like standing up or walking around to help relive the pain. My nurse offered me another dose of epidural ( I had already clicked the button and it wasn't helping) but for some reason I said no to the other dose. But at 11:00am I was shaking violently, I felt like I was going to throw up--they had a rag on my forehead and one on my throat. I was squeezing Bryce's hand and I just thought, there is no way I can push a baby out like this. So I finally agreed to another dose of the epidural--I mean if you're going to have an epidural might as well make it work! The anesthesiologist said she'd have to make me a little more numb to take away the pain but that she felt confident I'd still be able to push just fine.
At 11:30am I felt so much better! The doctor arrived and checked me and I was 10cm and ready to push. (I had literally been putting my hand down there because it felt like she was crowning with how much pressure I was feeling--I was really wishing I could've pushed her out sooner!) At 11:30 I looked like a hot mess--my hair was all matted back from the wet cloths and I had been so sweaty from the pain, and I was just coming down from the shakes. I had grand hopes of looking glamorous while pushing a baby out for another family but those hopes were dashed haha!
My doctor asked if she could break my water so that everyone didn't get splashed while I pushed--I think by everyone she meant her since she was in the splash zone haha! I said that's fine, and the nurse said they were already beginning to break anyway. She had me do one "practice" push before bringing in Ali and McKay--I guess she wanted to see how well I could push? The ironic thing is my legs were fairly numb but I could still feel every contraction and I could completely feel the “birth canal”--I could feel on my first practice push the baby come down the birth canal.
Ali and McKay came in and graciously stood by my head haha! I felt bad for not acknowledging them more, but I was in the zone and they had zero expectations from me. I'm not sure how many contractions it took, maybe 2 or 3? It was just a few minutes of pushing really hard and sweet baby girl was out! I could feel everything. I could feel when she was crowning, her shoulders were coming out and then finally when she came out all the way and they placed her on my belly, I felt an immense amount of RELIEF. I immediately started crying--like really crying. All these emotions just coming to the surface of--we made it, we did it, she's finally here. 2 1/2 years of praying, hoping for this sweet baby girl to arrive (and much longer for the Walkers!) and she was finally here. All of it, every disappointment, every set back, every pain and discomfort I felt, every event I missed out on, every worry I had, all of it was worth it for this moment---for this baby girl to finally be here.
Everyone was emotional as we heard her little cries. (I have only known Bryce to get emotional twice--once when our first was born, and now) Ali got to cut the cord and do some skin to skin, then they went to their room while I got cleaned up. I thought I would have this need to hold the baby but I didn't AT ALL. Just knowing she was finally with her parents was all that I needed. I just felt so dang happy, so fulfilled and so relieved that SHE WAS HERE.
It's hard to put into words what this experience has meant to me. I'd be lying if I said it was easy. I had many many hard days and moments along the way. Many times when I wondered if I'd made the wrong choice (in those first days and months when it was SO difficult for me to get pregnant and we had so many set backs). But something just keep edging me along. Also, Ali and McKay were just so amazing and supportive in all the right ways. Ali turned every difficult moment into an incredible one, she helped me see the beauty in surrogacy and I felt so special that I got to be part of something so amazing and so significant and as Ali says, "divinely orchestrated". I hope this little girl always knows how incredibly special she is and how many people it took to bring her into this world--and all the people who prayed for her safe arrival! So, so, so many people. I was so touched by all my friends and family and Ali's friends and family and even complete strangers who prayed for me and baby girl and for everything to go smoothly--I have no doubt that that's why I felt so much peace going to the hospital. My work here is done--and all I feel is JOY.
Last Bump Picture! 39 weeks One quick picture before heading into the hospital!
Our rooms right next to each other. All settled in and ready to get started.
Bryce read this whole book while I labored Feeling good post epidural, pre epidural wearing off :)
Hello my little friend, nice to meet you. Holding baby for the first time after I got all cleaned up.
Not our baby but we love her! Darling little girl!
Matching pjs for the win! They were SO comfy. I lived in them after the birth.
Could not have done this journey without this guy. He was the one that first believed in me and knew it would be hard but knew that I could do it. He told me, just because you’re scared to do something, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. So I bravely put my foot forward and walked down this path of surrogacy knowing he had all the confidence in the world in me. He’s my number one cheerleader, or at least my number one supportive bystander :)
The kids meeting baby girl! They were all completely enamored with her and each took a turn holding her. They LOVE her!
Love these people!
